Deafblind Insights - Joe Gibson
Transcript Start

[ Music ]

[ Title ]
Dr. Suzanne Zeedyk
Founder, Connected Baby

[ Music fade out]

So, babies come into the world already connected to other people, which becomes kind of fascinating when you really get what that means. 

For instance, it means that a baby in the womb already knows the voices of the people in the world, because they can hear those voices. So, the baby definitely knows the voice of their mother, but they'll also know the voice of, say, their father, or mom's partner. And they'll know the voice of grandma, or granda, if they're there every day. And they'll know the voice of their big brother, or their big sister, or their four big brothers and sisters, if they're there every day and they're in the world. And the--

So, the baby can hear those voices, and distinguish them. And that-- the brain starts to develop very... rapidly during the last three months of pregnancy. So, that really-- that capacity happened those last three months. So, that means that when the baby's born, they come with an expectation of who will be in the world, and they will-- they'll have a brain architecture that is expecting faces, but they won't have personal experience of faces, because you can't know that there's a face if you're still in the womb. But you do have personal experience of the voices around you.

So, it means the baby knows whether or not those voices sing and laugh a law, or they shout and are scary a lot. So, the baby through those voices, is coming into the world with a kind of expectation about whether the world is a relaxed place, or a scary place. And if the baby is learning that the world is a scary place, then they already have more cortisol in their system.

One of the ways that we know all that fascinating stuff, is that in the 80s they did work with babies still in the womb. And so, for instance, they... in one study they got mothers to read a... story to their bump, everyday for the last six weeks of pregnancy. So, like read them Cat In The Hat. And then when they were born, when they're three-days-old, they hook the baby up to an electronic nipple, so that they can record how fast the baby is sucking. And they play them a recording of their mother reading Cat In The Hat, or of their mother reading a different story, like Goldilocks and The Three Bears. And three-day-old babies suck faster to the story that they recognize. And they, also, suck faster to a recording of their mother reading Cat In The Hat, as opposed to a stranger reading Cat In The Hat. 

So, that means they know the story, and they know that this storyteller, or of course you could-- it's probably a song, because babies won't know that there's a plot line. So, for them it's a song. So, they know the song and the singer. And it turns out, that they often, also know, if you change the words to the song, because if you play them Cat In The Hat versus Dog in the Fog, and all you did was change the vowel sounds. Three-day-old babies know the difference in the song that they heard in the womb, and the- and the new song that they're hearing now. Which I just think is endlessly fascinating to think that babies have this expectation about what the world will be like.

That's how connected we are... from before birth. We are connected to the world that we're going to come in. And it... is remarkable. There's something very profound about understanding that we are that connected to other people. That we are biologically programmed for connection. And that's when we feel safe in connection with other people, and to be disconnected from other people, causes us mental health difficulties, emotional difficulties as human beings.

It's very interesting to think about a tactile imprint for a baby who's going to be born deafblind. And of course the parents won't know that. So we're not anticipating that. But of course most parents don't anticipate that their baby really is that much aware at all. But, one of the ways that expectant parents are aware of that, is that lots of them will know that the baby kicks, and perhaps they kick in response to a particular song, or particular voice. But you can also play tapping games, so that if you if you tap the baby there are lots of stories of babies who tap back. And you can actually have this turn taking rhythm.

That's the language of 'serve and return,' which is now used to talk about how brains develop, and why relationships are important. 'Serve and return' is effectively turn taking. Okay. You can do turn taking with a baby in the womb. Okay. And like-- and then part of the questions for parents is like, "Is the baby responding?" And some parents will go, "Don't be silly!" and other parents will go, "Well it must just be a reflex." But other parents will think, "No, this is the baby actually having an interaction with me!" 

Okay. Now, that... helps is start to think about what might happen for a deafblind baby. That because it's pressure, then... then a deafblind baby, who you don't know is going to be deafblind, could have the experience of what- of what is going to happen in the world. Which, actually, helps us start to think, "Well, all babies must be able to do that."

And then one other thing that's interesting about babies in the womb, is that they can now do ultrasound, where they track babies... hand movements. And babies in the womb spend time feeling... the sack. And they also spend time feeling their own body. And if you're a twin, they spend time feeling the other twin. So, that means that... twins actually, really do have a different experience of what there is to touch and get to know in the womb. 

All emotions are actually physiological states. So, if you're- if you're angry, if you're frustrated, if you're sad, if you're bored, if you're disappointed, if you're happy. They're physiological states, going on in your body. And I think that becomes really interesting, because we kinda don't know that. Right, you think, if you said to people, "Where are your emotions located?" People vaguely, sort of think, they're like here, somewhere. And we-- and they're feelings! And we- we disconnect those from behavior. So, when your child has a temper tantrum in the supermarket, it's a physiological meltdown over usually disappointment. Now sometimes it's disappointment that you cannot get your head around. "You won't let me wear my hat!" And your child has a meltdown. It's very embarrassing for you, because they're throwing themselves, right. And then you get overwhelmed, because they're embarrassing, and you're worried about the woman down there, who's judging you as a parent, and you want your two-year-old to save you from embarrassment! 

Okay, now you are getting out of regulation. And... now you may be unaware of that. Most-- I mean, most parents aren't aware of that, especially in this. You know, it's a good example, where you're overblown with this... temper tantrum. But we recognize that sense of embarrassment. Then you think, what's happening in your body when you're embarrassed? So, the blood is coming up. You're- you're maybe breathing... a little bit heavier, you're putting your head down, because you don't want to-- All that's physiological. 

Okay. How do you come back to calm down? Well, in a temper tantrum example, you might grab your child by the arm, and march them out. So, that act of forcefully marching your child out, actually helps you calm down. But it will cause more distress for your child. 

Children don't have a body that lets them self-regulate easily. So, they need you to help self-- help them self-regulate, which is why they come back. Harver calls that a charging station. They keep coming back to you... to actually calm down. So, I also like to think of as a safety station. So, when they've calmed down, and they feel safe, then they can go out to explore the world again.

What happens with children who are deafblind, that their parents find it more difficult to read than read their behavior, and make sense of it. So, they find it more difficult to connect smoothly. That will be alarming for any child, including a deafblind child. If you don't have enough smooth, reciprocal, matched replies. And deafblindness really helps us to think about that, because lots of parents, and teachers, will know that it's difficult to make sense of behavior. And so totally, unintentionally, you get this mismatch, which is a little bit threatening for a child, and then that develops a self-regulatory system that's in a bit more alarm. Which is why, all... schools and services working with deafblind children should be doing yoga, or mindfulness. But actually, all institutions, working with all children, should be doing yoga and mindfulness. And then it turns out, that all us adults should be doing yoga, and mindfulness, or Tai Chi, as well, because it puts us back in touch with our body, and we get more aware of... of when we're- when we're feeling uptight, and we can calm that down. Because if we don't do that, it's bad for our health. Stress is now one of the most... one of the biggest reasons for being off work. Well, stress means that our body has spent too much time not being able to self-regulate.

So, what do you do when you see another person, another child, in this case a deafblind child, but actually any child... having a meltdown. Okay. First of all that's an interesting phrase. I've just chosen the word meltdown. Other people might use the word challenging behavior. And you can go on courses to manage challenging behavior. What happens if we use this understanding of how brains work, and how the self-regulatory system? What if we just start by changing the language and we call that 'distressed behavior.' So, what to do about that? 

First be curious. Always, first be curious... about what it means, and about what might have caused that self-regulatory build up, so that they're having a meltdown. What's going on inside their body that's uncomfortable? That they can't manage, because their brain doesn't make sense of incoming information about the world, in the same way as yours or mine. And actually, we... can have meltdowns, as well. So- so much more for a child whose brain is making sense of sensory stimulation in a different way. First always be curious.

Second, always take care of yourself, first. So, the oxygen mask drops! You put your oxygen mask on first, and then you tend to the child next to you. Always attend to your-- take a deep breath. Because if you are not calm and open, you can't be-- you can't help another person, because you're going to get them to solve your uptightness. So, you need to manage your up tightness, and the easiest way to do that is by breathing. [big breath - exhales] If you just breathe out, your brain goes, "Oh, I can relax." Because if it was really dangerous, I need to be breathing fast. You can trick your brain... into calming down, just by breathing slowly. If you need to take a second breath, or a third breath. 

The most important thing is to be with them. Okay. Is to be with them emotionally. They are distressed. How are you going to communicate? I hear you. I'm here. It's safe. I'm not-- I don't think you're bad. Okay. So, be accepting. You have to figure out how you're going to communicate that. And it might be by holding onto a hand, or holding onto a foot, or just... just... a light touch on the back. You will know best. But what you're trying to communicate is, "I'm not abandoning you in the middle of this."

The most important thing is to affirm their emotions. All emotions are okay. I know some of them are not so comfortable. But when you get this stuff, it's more than just the science, it actually... changes the way you see relationships, between you and yourself, and you and other people. All emotions are okay, they just are. And it's okay to have all of them, even if they're uncomfortable ones. So, what you want to do, is to not judge, to have them feel supported, and to help them to start to calm down, then. You can do that just by helping them to breathe. Okay? So, for parents, they might have that child just lying next to them. So, the presence of another person is safe. It produces a hormone called, oxytocin, which is a calming hormone. So, there's the physical warmth and presence of another person; terribly important for a deafblind child. Okay. If you can feel the... the regulation of breathing, that will start to regulate another person's breathing. Your way of breathing regulates another person's. So, if you're breathing fast, you've got to make them breathe faster.

Heart rates, then, line up-- I think that's amazing! Heart rates line up. By the time a child is 3-months old, their heart rate is in line with their mother's, so if you have a more anxious mother, the child has a higher heart rate, and that's becoming their baseline heart rate. So, then that helps you to think about, okay, "What is the baseline heart rate for this child?" If the baseline heart rate for any child, including a deafblind one, is higher, than they are more likely to tip over into a meltdown, anyway. Staying aware of what the triggers are, and sometimes it takes a while to figure out what the triggers are... helps you to start to know where, what I call the 'saber tooth tiger moments' are. And those are the moments of fear. Where your brain starts to think, "I'm... this is threatening, and I need to get worried," and I produce all that cortisol. So, you.... start to know where your own saber tooth tiger moments are, and where your child's saber tooth tiger moments are. And then you can create safety... around them. 

The other bit of language, that I often use, is that what we're trying to build is an 'internal Teddy bear.' We're not trying to learn to manage behavior, we're-- or even to cope with feelings. We're trying to learn to comfort ourselves, so that we can calm down. And we're trying to build a physiology that let's us comfort ourselves. And so, I like talking about teddy bears, because that's the whole point of an inner teddy bear, is to comfort you. But some people have weak inner teddy bears and... and you can start to see where your teddy bear is weak or fragile. 

So, some-- so parting from someone that you love is a saber tooth tiger moment, for lots of people. For other people, the saber saber tooth tiger moment is coming back together again, because it's so emotionally intense. It's too much. Many deafblind children, today, begin life, actually, in quite a lot of pain, because a lot of them will be born prematurely. And their first experience of life was through lots of... medical procedures; so lots of poking, lots of pain.

So, their first introduction to life was that life is painful, and they're starting to develop a brain that expects that. Their self-regulatory system is weaker, and their world is painful. And that set up an expectation about what people feel like. So, by the time you get a baby home, if they've been in an ICU, they may already be a very tense, scared baby. And you're going to need to do a whole lot gentle, loving, care to help them to learn people can be a different way.

Fade to black.