The Power of Touch Transcript Start [ Music ] Amy: One of the best things I thought about the training was being there with other parents and interacting with other parents with their children. I mean you see a lot of other parents at conferences but you don't get to see them with their kids. And we met one family that has a daughter that's very similar to [inaudible] and it was nice to be there and see that because we don't -- living here in Waco we don't have a lot of interaction with other parents of kids with disabilities. Melissa: It was a small workshop. There was a limited number of families involved. And so when you get the opportunity to really get to know each other, and the family night was a wonderful experience where we all got to just sit around and listen to everybody's stories and backgrounds, where everybody came from, what their children are like, and gives you that personal relationship with them. Jason: Specifically, I think it was the first activity that we did, where we had to spend time with someone else's child and observe just how they, not necessarily do anything with them, just how they interacted with the world. Instead of trying to think well that means this, and I know, because I've been around you for two and a half years, it's like, oh let's practice with someone else's child, who I don't know, to take that back to work with my own child, and that was really really neat. Kimberly: And it was the first workshop that my son was able to attend. We actually got to go in between, as we were learning a technique, then we would go to him or another child and learn -- right as we learned the technique go right into -- go right to our child and practice it with them. And so it really helped us to know how to implement it once we left the workshop and how to share it with other people in his team. Melissa: And I also have to say that the staff and everyone at the TSBVI has -- was just wonderful in putting this conference together and facilitating the workshop, and these children are-- have many special needs, and they were so accommodating in making it all happen, and making everybody feel comfortable, including the children. [ Music ] Amy: Jason and I talked about, when the training was going on last February, when it first started, it was just so mellow and slow and you-- and Sarah and Scott talked so slow and gentle and we're like, we need to get going, we need to get going, and that first night we were like, I don't know about this, this is so slow. But then we realized, going through the training, that you were modeling for us, how to do this without even telling us, you know, just being there and being slow, and being very thoughtful, and that's so important with our daughter at this-- especially, you know, just being there with her. Kimberly: And that was a learning experience too, to when you're holding a stick or an object to know that that person has the floor or has the-- is the one that you should be focusing on and taking time to really focus on what they're saying. And when my son was younger I always felt like I had to talk and explain objects to him, you know, experiences that are happening outside the window or whatnot, but I learned in this workshop to really stop and listen and watch him and let him experience it in his own way. Melissa: I have a new appreciation for my hands, how I can explore the world with my child and participate with her in learning, and it's made me a better parent; I get to relate to her a lot better. Kimberly: Give them the freedom to explore your hands. Give them the freedom to explore your face and your fingers and make a game out of it. But it was such a beautiful thing to watch him like reach out to my hand and he started just exploring my fingers and my nails and, you know, just really checking it out, and it wasn't-- I wasn't, you know, forcing him, I wasn't grabbing his hand. Video: Fingers, like yours. Finger, fingers, fingers. Fingers, fingers, fingers. Kimberly: The power of touch, it seems really simple, but we have to be reminded that that is how they learn, is that their number one learning is to learn by touch. It reminded me to give my child the freedom to explore objects, including things that I never thought of, such as a whisk, you know; it's cold, it's metal, he could, you know, shake it and make noise with it. And a wooden spoon, you know, it's got different texture to it than the plastic toys. Most toys are plastic and boring and so it just gave us an opportunity to really realize that there's other things to look at, rather than just these plastic toys. So it's just-- just to remind yourself to, you know, give them the freedom to explore those objects. [ Music ] Melissa: So you have to let go of the functionality of object, of what you know, or what you think that they should do, and you have to give your child that opportunity to do what she wants to, well in my case, what she wants to do with it and let her explore it the way she needs to, to become familiar with-- with that object. Jason: And to me that kind of expanded to, you know, my expectations for her and what her life could be, they're not as important as what her expectations for herself can be. I think this program, kind of, was a big first step for me to realize that she doesn't have to do things the way I think she has to do things, even if it's just the hairbrush, you know, or something simple like that, it's like, no let's look at the world the way she's experiencing it. The whole way we've been taught to interact with them gives them that-- their own sense of identity; I think that comes through this quite a bit, you know, making them own what they want to do, and they have the permission, I guess, to do what they want to do, and I think that-- I would say most of the kids that we know from this thrive like that. Amy: I think that this training helps them feel empowered to be that way, because they know somebody's listening or feeling them, you know, because it's not really just about listening; it's about watching and it's about physical interaction and they build up that trust that you are hearing them. [ Music ] Kimberly: Don't get in such a hurry. You know, really let your child lead; that's a huge thing, is to remind yourself to let your child lead and don't always get in a rush, because they're going to do things that you never thought they could, or would, if you just stop and slow down. Melissa: As parents get caught up in our everyday life of caring for our children, so it's very nice to take the time to just sit back and enjoy life with them. Kimberly: He does the faucet, and just waiting for him, just standing there, and even though like you're-- you need to get going in the morning, the bus might be waiting, but you've got to like, let him reach out, turn the water on, and he does it and he loves it; that's the other thing, is he's so like proud of himself because we've given him that time to like, you know, processing. Processing for Blake, and a lot of kids, you've got to give them that processing time to-- for them to think about it to learn, okay, this is from a past experience, this is what I need to do. Video: [rattling sounds] [background voices] [toy spining] [background laughter] [child verbalizing] [backgorund laughter] [baby laughing] [adult & child singing] [softly singing Itsy Bitsy Spider] [child laughs & squeals] Jason: The most recent thing that I was thinking about was she has an adaptive bath chair and just to help her in taking the bath, we-- we changed how she was seated in the tub, so now her head is towards the faucet end, and she has started to reach up when the water is running and play with the water and try and block it from getting her hair wet. But she has started to realize that depending on how she puts her hand on there, she can spray the water either on us or over herself. Amy: Over the bathroom. Jason: And just-- yeah, over the bathroom, and just to watch her, the fascination is-- even if she's not looking up there, you can see the look on her face as she explores with her hand and goes, okay, so if I do this, okay, now I'm getting wet, and she'll start laughing and then we move back. And then, oh wait, now dad's making noises, he's getting wet. And just watching that kind of thing and to be able to sit back and think, okay, we're in the bathtub, it's time to be getting clean, but to take that moment and go back and so what are you doing? What-- what game are you making up now? What have you discovered you can do with your hands? It's just really, kind of, neat. And, again, I think that's because this program has given me that perspective on don't rush, don't worry about it's cleaning time, but more like, so what are you trying to tell me, what are you trying to do, and that's really-- really neat. Kimberly: So I highly recommend this workshop for anyone that can attend and to learn more, you know, how to communicate and how to listen and watch-- watch your kids. I just can't say enough that just the waiting, waiting him out and not rushing is-- has been amazing and the power of touch explains that in great detail. Melissa: I asked my husband, last night, a question as to what did he get out of this workshop and he told me, 'Everything I do with her.' It made him think about everything, how he does everything with her now. It-- it changed. He learned how to-- he said in everything-- in how I present anything to her, how I explore things and interact with her, he said he-- he said, 'It changed everything for him.' [ Music ]